SxSw 2010: 3 Los Angeles bands to NOT see while in Austin

I’d like to take this time to switch it up and do what most people won’t do: point out a few LA bands to NOT see at SxSw 2010. I’ve heard it said that “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything” but I think someone should come up with a better adage like “if you can’t play music that doesn’t suck total ass, or at least play ok music without being a total prick, please, for the sake of everyone else, don’t play your shitty music.” That’s why I’m not in a band. Because I suck at the musics. Here’s a few groups of Angelenos NOT worthy of your already limited time at SxSw.

 

WARPAINT

Hi, we're Warpaint. We're not as good as Land of Talk. Let's Wrestle. American Apparel. Sustainability.

Warpaint are an all-girl quartet who are getting entirely too much buzz as far as I’m concerned. Sure, I haven’t seen them live, but their music is just ok. It’s not that it’s bad, but it’s far from good enough to justify their ridiculous amount of buzz as of late. Why anyone would give a shit about this band when they could listen to ANYthing Land Of Talk has put out is beyond me… Land Of Talk play better music AND have way better vocals. I don’t get it. Pass.

 

 

 

 

SHADOW SHADOW SHADE

Hi, we're Shadow Shadow Shade. We act like total dicks even when we have no right to! At least our music sucks too!

Shadow Shadow Shade were formally known as Afternoons and are comprised of some dicks from Irving, a few other douchebags, and a highly annoying bellowing woman. They essentially play really shitty versions of songs that Arcade Fire already did really well like 6 years ago. I was introduced to them as the openers at a Tokyo Police Club free show at the Hammer Museum back in 2008 (as Afternoons), where they proceeded to bitch and moan about the venue’s sound like a bunch of stereotypical rock star prima donnas. Except usually that type of despicable behavior is reserved for people who have actually made it (not like that makes it any more tolerable, mind you), not those who’ve barely accomplished shit in 12 years of continuously floundering around Los Angeles (see: Irving). At one point during their first song, they actually put their gear down and walked off the stage after throwing a tantrum. Conveniently, a whole shit ton of people came in during this 30-40 minute downtime. [Sidenote: Ironically enough, Tokyo Police Club came out later, had ACTUAL tangible sound issues where 1 guitar was hardly audible all set, and were nothing but gracious and thankful for all the support the entire time. They honestly seemed shocked at how many people were even there, despite the line outside snaking down Wilshire. Talk about humility.] Basically, the guys (and really annoying girl) in “Shadow Shadow Shade” don’t deserve your attention. And even if they did, it’ll be hard for them to see your admiration anyway. I can’t imagine one can see too much of anything with one’s own head so far up one’s own ass. Don’t believe me? Check out their self-indulgent, “Grammy Award winning,” “Shepard Fairey approved”  Wikipedia entry here. Blech. Please don’t make their heads any bigger, people. LA is crowded enough.

 

 

SHE WANTS REVENGE

Hi, we're She Wants Revenge. And we're boring as... HEY! YOU! WAKE UP! I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU WE'RE BORING AS SHIT! QUIT NODDING OFF!

She Wants Revenge weren’t ever good. Sorry. Don’t care what anyone says. Their singer makes Paul Banks from Interpol sound like fucking Pavarotti (RIP). And Paul Banks has zero range to begin with, so how one can manage to get even MORE monotonous vocally is a true conundrum for me… Never fear though boredom-seekers, because Justin Warfield manages to do it. But wait, at least the music behind his shitty vocals is really good right? Nope. Talk about boring, repetitive shit. If you like this stuff, please, just don’t tell me.

[Disclaimer: I realize there are actually good Interpol songs. But that doesn't change the fact that dude still can't sing for shit.]